Jane loves getting together with her family, and her family loves gathering around a good meal. They routinely make traditional dishes and family recipes that go back for generations.
Then the pandemic came and in one swoop, took away all her interactions with her family — and all those events that centered on food. Jane found herself stuck in the house, cut off from everyone except her husband. In those circumstances, it’s not surprising that she would return to binge eating — the only coping mechanism that’s worked for her, says Lesley Williams, M.D.
Binge eating disorder is frequently eating unusually large amounts of food and feeling out of control when eating. It can crop up in times of drastic stress — like the pandemic — but may also be a way to cope with more subtle emotions and changes — like the transitions of middle age.
Middle age and eating disorders
You may not think of eating disorders as affecting middle-aged women. That’s not surprising given how eating disorders are represented in the media.
“There’s this idea that it’s a young, adolescent, white female that singularly struggles with eating disorders,” says Dr. Williams. “But eating disorders happen across the spectrum of age, across the spectrum of gender, across the spectrum of cultural background.”
The changes and challenges of middle age may make women more vulnerable to an eating disorder, Dr. Williams says. These can include:
- Body changes. As you age, you can experience changes in your muscle mass, metabolism and fat. You may also experience the hormonal changes of perimenopause and menopause.
- Self-esteem. As your body changes, you may not feel as desirable or beautiful, especially compared to unrealistic cultural standards or your younger self.
- Role changes. As kids leave the house or your parents age, your long-held roles, such as mother and daughter, may shift.
“It’s a time when we’re often vulnerable and begin looking for things that we can control,” Dr. Williams says.
Is it binge eating?
Everyone occasionally overeats. Some holidays, like Thanksgiving, are structured around overeating. How do you know when overindulging has crossed the line into a binge eating disorder?
- Consistency. Everyone has normal ebbs and flows of eating. But if episodes of overeating are happening once a week or more, this could be disordered eating.
- Amount. Binge eating is eating more food than most others would in similar circumstances. You may occasionally have two slices of cake — that’s not binge eating. Someone with binge eating disorder might eat an entire cake.
- Fullness. Someone with binge eating disorder may not heed their body’s hunger and fullness signals — eating until they’re overly full or when they’re not hungry.
- Secrecy. Disordered, binge eating might include trying to hide some of your eating, maybe by eating when no one else is around or not being open about your eating with your partner.
- Shame. After binging, you may feel disgusted, depressed or guilty. Understanding the emotional components of binge eating is important to understanding and treating the disorder.
Binge eating disorder can affect those who are underweight, overweight or of average weight. In fact, about half of those with binge eating disorder aren’t overweight.
Addressing emotions, not calories
When it comes to treating binge eating disorder, Dr. Williams says it’s important to first identify and address the emotions underlying the binge eating. Simply trying to restrict calories is generally not going to work.
“If someone struggles with binge eating disorder, she’s lost and gained weight a million times in her lifetime and might continue to do so into perpetuity. The issue is not losing weight, the issue is being able to make sustainable life choices,” says Dr. Williams. “If we don’t understand what’s underlying those behaviors, change is never going to be sustainable.”
Once someone with binge eating disorder understands the emotional connection to her eating patterns, she can better utilize positive coping mechanisms, says Dr. Williams. So with patients who’ve gained weight due to binge eating, she tries to take shame out of the equation.
“I say, ‘Hey, you are a survivor. You just survived a global pandemic and used the coping strategies that you needed to get you through that,'” she says. “‘Let’s look at healthier coping mechanisms and find ways to reincorporate those.'”
The goal is to get to a place where food is viewed as fuel for the body rather than a balm for emotions.
Some people with binge eating disorder do well with cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). CBT helps you learn to identify and cope with triggers — such as negative thoughts and certain situations — that lead to overeating and can help you regulate your eating.
One helpful exercise might be writing down the emotions you feel when you want to eat. This can help you learn the difference between emotional and physical hunger, Dr. Williams says.
“With binge eating disorder, I find most people who do the work to detach their emotions from their eating patterns can do really well,” she says.
But she always cautions those with binge eating disorder: When you’re stressed, you’re going to want to fall back into your binge eating patterns to comfort or soothe yourself.
“When you see that stress coming, you have to fortify yourself because you’re going to be vulnerable,” she says.
Throughout treatment and beyond, it’s important to surround yourself with supportive friends and family, attend any therapy sessions, and practice positive stress management through activities such as meditation, deep breathing or going for a walk.
Relevant reading
Taking Care of You
A practical and extensive resource guide for women who want to understand and take charge of their own health and healthcare, presented in short, focused, easy-to-read chapters.
Shop Now
